Finding a church home
Thinking back over my life, I do remember having a really hard time finding a church home one other time. That was when we were in our early 20’s and had moved up to Rhinelander for Don to do his internship at a large nursing home there. Before the move we’d been very involved in a church that was quite similar to the one Don had grown up in.
First we tried a couple Baptist churches, but we weren’t used to Baptist theology and felt a bit uncomfortable there. Then we tried another and kind of liked it until Easter rolled around and we found that they didn’t celebrate Easter (they said they celebrate the resurrection every Sunday.) But we were only in Rhinelander about 9 months, so it wasn’t too bad.
After we were done there, we moved to a place where we knew a couple of people (Chetek) and they went to the Baptist church there, so we just went there. It was better when we knew people that were attending. Actually a LOT better.
After that, we were local for the next 36 years, so when we changed churches, it was because we knew people at the new church and wanted to be there.
Now we are in a town where we don’t know anyone, so we can’t go to a church where they go. While it was very nice that Amy had the pastor of the West Hills Christian Church come and meet Don and invite him, that church didn’t end up feeling like “home” to us. The way they worship, and particularly the music, was just so different that we just couldn’t stay. We gave it a good try – about 4 1/2 months.
One of the problems had been that is was rather small and there weren’t any people much like us. I particularly didn’t feel like I fit in – none of the women made any attempts to get to know me at all, even the pastor’s wife. Plus, the fact that it is small meant that we were the only new people, and they don’t really have a way to help new people fit in.
So we decided to try somewhere bigger, then see if there were other people there that were new, as well. We also picked a church that seemed like it would be a bit more what we are used to – a non-denominational, evangelical church called Fellowship Chapel. I really like the music and finally feel like I’ve truly been able to worship. We also enjoy the fact that there is more age diversity – the first church was pretty much all old people and Fellowship Chapel has people of all ages. We happen to go to the contemporary service, so there are fewer old people and more families and young people, which we really enjoy.
Is this “the church?” Who knows? I didn’t like the sermon this week – I thought is was totally devoid of grace. But, then again, I’ve really liked the other sermons, so instead of giving up and going elsewhere, I’m going to try to get a chance to communicate my concerns with the pastor, if that is even possible.
I know I’m not going to find the perfect church, so I’m mostly looking for a place where I don’t feel “odd” and where I can really worship. I also want a place I’m comfortable going alone, since Don has to sleep all day every other Sunday as it is his third 12 hour day in a row.
I was looking around at people at church yesterday and thinking, “Are these people going to be my new friends?” That is a big reason for wanting to find a church soon – it is a place to find friends of like mind. But finding a place to truly worship in the main reason and I think we are headed in the right direction.
But it is hard because we have no experience at it. So hopefully, we’ll never have to do it again!
Finding a church that feels like “home” is so important. When we decided on our church, it was because we knew “our people” were there. We’re in a new, strange season with church and are sad that we are now moving to a new church. We know it’s the right decision, but still hard to start all over again.
But now you have friends that can point you to a church that they think would work for you, knowing what kind of people you are, what your passions are, your talents, etc. I know it won’t be easy, but it should be a lot easier.
Again, I’m so sorry about your disappointment with the leadership in your church and I will pray that they make things right where that is necessary.
That said, though, it has to be hard to leave a church where you were teaching and otherwise involved and go to where you have to start all over with that, as well as with meeting new people.
I totally understand what you are saying. We do have some things going for us that will help with the transition. We’ve lived here for almost 5 years and know people that attend lots of different great churches in the area. It won’t be completely starting from scratch and we have the benefit of only having that one transition right now.