I just finished a book that was really meaningful and helped me understand a lot of things about myself. I found it because of something I saw on Facebook that referenced this book.
The book is The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron and was first published back in 1996. Basically it explores the often missed distinction between shy people and highly sensitive people. It totally opened my eyes to why I feel the way I do about some things and why I react the way I do to some situations. I scored really high on the sensitivity scale, so have no doubt I am the kind of person she is talking about.
I also am sure Nathan falls pretty high on the spectrum and remember explaining to my mom very early on that “Nathan was a very sensitive baby.” She wouldn’t buy it, telling me (the inexperienced first-time mother) that “boys are not sensitive.” But I didn’t believe her and think I did an okay job of raising him with the knowledge all along that he was sensitive.
I’m afraid I missed the boat with Luke, though. (I sincerely don’t know that either Erica or Kylene are highly sensitive, although am quite sure the boys are.) But I think that with Luke following so closely on the tails of three other pre-schoolers, I just didn’t appreciate his personality as much as I should. (And for that, I apologize, Luke.)
But the point is that, if you think you might be a highly sensitive person, I would recommend this book. And, if you think you might be raising a highly sensitive child – and it is a trait that can be inherited, although not always – I would definitely recommend reading it. It was at our library, so you can probably find it easily. I’m am almost positive Chloe has this trait, but suspect that all of Nathan and Amy’s children might have it, too. And the great thing is that it gives explanations for and ways of dealing with behaviors that stem from over-arousal, which is the constant problem when you are highly sensitive.
Take the time to read it, or at least skim it, if you get the chance. If you are like me, it will change your outlook on life. If you are not, it will increase your understanding of people like me!
I’ll look up the book. It sounds really interesting. Ethan is super sensitive to different environmental things.
I’m pretty sure he would be considered highly sensitive. Some of the positive attributes include a rich, complex inner life, being conscientious, trying hard to avoid making mistakes or forgetting things, and noticing and enjoying delicate or fine scents, tastes, sounds, works of art. One thing that I thought was interesting was that when we must compete or be observed while performing a task, we become so nervous or shaky that we do much worse than we would otherwise. I’ve always wondered why it was that no matter how prepared I was, I would still do poorly. But the good news is that we can overcome many of the shortcomings more easily than others would, because we have such an intense inner focus and the ability to figure out the whys of life.
I think you’ll enjoy the book. It is a very good thing to be a highly sensitive person, even though we are not the society’s “ideal.” In Eastern cultures we would be the ideal, but certainly not in America!
That’s so interesting–I’ll have to look up the book too. I agree, I think Chloe would probably fall into the sensitive category… 🙂
Yup. And I think you would get some ideas of how to deal with it, although I’m not saying you aren’t doing well now. It would just alleviate a little of your frustration sometimes, I think.