Update

So I have been “not dieting” for about three weeks now. And I think I hit a milestone today. I have been basically allowing myself to eat what I want and I haven’t gained any weight from one week to the next. But I am still a lot heavier than I want to be. Today I just felt that it would be okay to start using more control on my eating. I think it took these three weeks for me to trust myself that I’m not going to deprive myself. But I also know that not eating sweets is a healthier way to live. And now I think I’ll be more able to see that saying no to a sweet isn’t really depriving myself. I can see that it is going to be a slow process and I can honestly say that I’m still motivated by the sight of things, whether they are things I should eat or not.  I ate quite a few pieces of candy that I’d “hidden” in the glove box of Don’s car when I was driving back from the Country Lane Pantry today. I’m not sure what’s up with that, since I’d just decided I was going to try to cut back on sweets. It’s like one half of myself is still at war with the other half. But it’s okay. I’m not beating myself up about it. I’m able to just take a step back and say “I wonder why I did that.”