Month: October 2013 (Page 2 of 2)

(You know the conversation – This is true, but then again, this is also true.)

We are tired of Chetek and ready for a change, but then again our kids might miss being able to go back to the town where they went to school and had all their friends, but then again none of the kids seem to enjoy being in Chetek all that much (other than being with Mom and Dad) and don’t really have any close friends left here, but then again, we have so much of our history here.

I love my job, but then again it is getting a tad boring because I’ve fixed everything I saw that needed fixing or that anyone saw that needed fixing, but then again everything I built might fall to pieces without me holding it together (who’s the egotist now?), but then again would I really care if I wasn’t still here?

Dad loves his job, but then again it didn’t really turn out to be quite what he expected (lots of giving shots, lots and lots and lots of giving shots), but then again it is a secure job, but then again, do we want to settle for just security when we are only 59 and have our best money making years ahead of us, but then again, is it really all about the money, but then again, isn’t it, when you are this close to retirement?

The Twin Cities area has a lot going on, but then again you pay for it in higher home prices, but then again, could we be closer and still in Wisconsin where the prices are a tad lower?

Moving when you’ve lived in a community for over 25 years is hard, but then again moving closer to grandchildren is really, really good, but then again those grandchildren will grow up and leave home, but then again we would still be closer to their parents – our kids – when we get really old (I know – that is a long, long, long, long, long time from now!) and we would be settled in that community by then.

Sameness is secure, but then again sameness can be boring. Change is scary, but then again change can be invigorating and exciting.

We are planning to move to Prescott, WI as soon as we find a house and Don finds a job.  Please pray that God opens doors if this is what He wants and that if it isn’t what He wants, He makes it very clear to us.

Imagine exercising because you enjoy how you feel doing it and how you feel afterwards. Imagine the thoughts running through your head as you endlessly pound the road being about how strong you feel and how much you are enjoying yourself, rather than how many calories you are burning or whether your thighs are getting thinner.

Once you get your head around the concept of nurturing yourself, rather than beating yourself into shape, you will be able to 1) enjoy your exercise more and 2) suffer less overuse injuries. After all, if the point is to get into as good of shape as possible, without regard to calories burned, being in tune with how your calves are feeling and whether a slight alteration in your stride will make them feel better will override thoughts of whether you are going faster than last time or are in the ultimate calorie burning zone. Your turn-around point (if you are doing an out and back run) will be determined by how you are feeling  rather than how far you said you would go. You may feel great and go further or be feeling lousy once you get started and go for a shorter distance or walk instead of run. And (this is the important part), you will feel just as satisfied with yourself when you get home.

What are the consequences of a preoccupation with your weight? I’m not saying any of you are preoccupied with your weight, but just in case you are:

1. It takes time and energy away from personal growth and development.

2. It makes us believe our body is “the enemy.” (I would say body parts – for instance belly fat or flabby inner thighs.)

3. It breeds self-hatred. (Maybe hatred is too strong a word; how about self-dissatisfaction?)

4. It puts us into competition with other (even with others there is no way we should even be comparing ourselves with, like 16 year olds when you are 59.)

5. It takes away life’s spontaneity. To me that is the ability to do something because you feel like doing it. 🙂

Cycling

Let me try to describe to you the diet/binge cycle. (It is a picture in the book, but I don’t do pictures on these posts!) You start with low self-acceptance. If you think you are acceptable, you wouldn’t put yourself on a diet. From there you move to the structured diet/living. This eventually leads to feelings of deprivation that can be handled for only so long until they lead to a binge. Of course, the binge leads to feelings of guilt, which eventually can lead to giving up on the whole diet thing. And this may lead to further weight gain, which can lead you back to that point of low self-acceptance once more, so you go back on the structured diet/living once more, with the same outcomes. And it spirals on and on for 5, 10, 20, 40 years.

Consider changing just the starting point. Instead of staring with low self-acceptance, lets start with positive self-acceptance. This will lead to self-confidence, which leads to self-nurturing, which allows you to move on to enjoyable eating, then active living, which will ultimately make you feel even better about yourself, which leads to even greater self-acceptance. And this spiral continues, with the same outcomes. Better outcomes, though.

But it all starts with self-acceptance. Why can’t we all think as kindly of ourselves as others think of us? What a difference that would make!

So what does non-diet weight management look like? It isn’t as easy as it would seem. Some things are hard to be rid of.  For many of us having a plan gives security, so for me living without a plan for the day feels a bit scary. But being able to sit and think before each meal or snack, “What do I really want to eat right now?” is an exciting alternative. Another really exciting thing is knowing that I don’t have to give anything up. Just the feeling that I am not supposed to ever eat bakery items or candy bars or brownies or whatever just makes me want them more, so I end up eating them. Knowing that I can have one when I really want one actually makes me stop and think before I dig in. I drove past the bakery and, of course, thought about white coconut covered long johns. But then I was able to think, “No, I’m still pretty full from lunch. I’ll have one another day.” And I drove right past, no problem.

It isn’t about throwing out everything I know about nutrition. Those things are, fortunately, deeply ingrained in me. I actually prefer whole grains to processed things. I love so many fruits and vegetables and, when given the chance to actually think what I feel like eating, come up with meals that include all of these healthful elements. What has changed has been telling myself what I will eat for every meal and snack, with no thought to whether I’ll actually want to eat that when the time comes.

I am, of course, limited to what is in my house, so I’m eating the things I normally do, with just a few exceptions. But I might have something for a snack when I usually have it for a meal or vice versa.  And when I eat it, I have this joyful feeling that I’m eating what I want to – what my body is craving – at that moment.

I’ll admit that I’m nervous about what this will do to my weight, so I’m allowing myself one weigh-in a week – on Sunday mornings, just to keep tabs so my weight doesn’t sneak up on me. I think it is only fair to allow my choices next week to be influenced by what I learned this week, and so on.  But if I don’t lose anything, I won’t panic. I wasn’t losing anything before and I’m enjoying eating a LOT more now.

Even though this isn’t a prescribed diet, there is a suggestion that I am trying to follow, which is based on how the body responds to foods. To avoid a sugar low after eating something sweet, it is best to eat 1/4 to 1/3 of any meal or snack in protein and the rest in carbohydrates. The carbs are where we get our energy, but consuming protein at the same time causes the whole stomach-full to be absorbed more slowly. Not only does that eliminate the crash, but it eliminates any cravings I might experience. So, for instance, before I had a candy bar for snack (Snickers – my favorite!), I had a couple slices of turkey. As a note, I probably won’t have a candy bar for snack everyday, but I had a buy two, get one free coupon and went ahead and bought them. Eating something I like makes me happy and the calories won’t be all that much more than they would have been with a normal, “diet” snack. And I won’t be craving more of them any time soon, so I don’t need to worry about that.  I guess the plan is to just give in right away, rather than try to fight against cravings, then finally give in anyway, and feel defeated and guilty.

Does any of this make sense? I’ll get to the more scientific stuff later, but I just wanted to give an overview of what I’m doing now with my eating.

I’ve been studying weight management for a weight management certificate to add to my personal training certification. And I’ve been learning some very interesting things that I’d like to pass along to you bit by bit. This is especially for Kylene, Erica, Amy, and Krista, but anyone else that wants can read it.

I’d like to start out by apologizing for raising you (Kylene and Erica) with an unhealthy view of weight management and food in general. Basically I was passing along what I’d learned growing up and I imagine my mom would say the same. But I hope it can stop with this new generation. When I put such a focus on being the correct weight, always being on a diet, never being happy with the way I looked, I was teaching you that your weight is a measure of your worth as a person. And that is wrong. Day by day I modeled behavior that described some foods as bad and others as good, and some eating behavior as bad and other behavior as good. I taught you through my example that eating is not a pleasurable activity, but rather something that had to be planned, controlled, counted, and oftentimes, something to feel guilty about.  And I did a great job teaching you, because you seem to be following nicely in my footsteps! (Please don’t take this as an insult – I just see a lot of myself a couple decades ago in you today.)

But look at me now. I’ve spent the past 45 years dieting and I’m heavier than when I started. And that is for one simple, proven reason.

Diets don’t work. They don’t make you thinner. They actually make you fatter. If you don’t believe me, look at the world around you. There are more diet foods and more people on diets than ever before, and yet our population is fatter. The rise in weight has mirrored the rise in dieting behavior.

And the reason is simple. The dieting mentality makes you feel deprived and eventually you will react to that feeling, and often in a huge way, eating way more calories than you skipped eating earlier. And the net result is a gain in weight.

But there is much more to this picture and I’ll write more tomorrow. But for now, I hope I have you thinking…